Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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