I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
