Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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