did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
