Sober January is a disaster.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
this will be a night to untag.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
