That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
