...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I wear drunk well.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
