Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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