he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
