theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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