He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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