Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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