so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
