He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize