i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
