Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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