Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
