My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
