Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
