is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
