I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
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