I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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