I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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