Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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