he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
