Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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