I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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