I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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