my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
