Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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