she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
