yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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