You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
