At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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