Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
