it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize