yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
