Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Houston, we have a squirter
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
