dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
