Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My penis needs a shock collar
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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