Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
