i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
