If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
