He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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