I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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