Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Can Purell be used as lube?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
