I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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