I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
