Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
