If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
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