I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
it was like eating out sand paper
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
