Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
