Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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