So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize