NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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