Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
