You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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