if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
