Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
