Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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